All relationships have there ups and downs but this one has been going on for way too long. On the surface it all seemed to be going well and then it just kinda stopped being OK. “It’s not that bad, it could be worse, there are some occasional bright spots,” became the game I played in my head. Talking myself in and out and up and down. Going with the flow, avoiding the obvious questions for fear of what might happen if the relationship, as I knew it, changed. 

Change is very scary when you have been doing the same thing for as many years as I have.  Going through the motions became the status quo, sucking it up, settling for less, making excuses, accepting the small spots of joy as enough and eating more chocolate than should be allowed by one woman……. A sure sign that something is just not right.

Well, something is just not right. I have talked myself to “death”, I have made all the excuses. Like that friend who complains over and over and never makes a change, I am sick of listening to me.  I have enabled myself to stay, I have filled the emptiness with sugar and convinced myself it was enough. I have watched my weight expand and convinced myself “ I must be bloated” it can’t possibly be the exorbitant amount of chocolate I have been consuming. (if nobody sees me eat it….. well, who’s to say I did)

It’s time to make a change. It’s time to put down the chocolate and pull up the big girl panties. It’s time to stop settling, making excuses and sucking it up.

Enough is enough, I say!

I am breaking up with my life!